I'm in high school. I have Black Widow's hair.

"Isn’t it boring being on an all vegetable diet?"

veganprobs:

image

you tell me

(via fornicate-the-constabulary)

Notes
264414
Posted
1 hour ago

bagellie:

benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them

(via lohanthony)

Notes
325874
Posted
1 hour ago
awwww-cute:

Fairly certain my dog got a goodbye kiss from my GF this morning

awwww-cute:

Fairly certain my dog got a goodbye kiss from my GF this morning

(via fornicate-the-constabulary)

Notes
1492
Posted
1 hour ago

sparrowbirdd:

They warned me and I listened but  THEN I DIDN’T HAHAHAHAHAhaha

(via queenofawkward27)

Notes
73066
Posted
1 hour ago

sharapwna:

ventai:

HE HAS RETURNED

the prostitute though lmao

(via ruinedchildhood)

Notes
177645
Posted
1 hour ago

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

(via stoned-levi)

Notes
88470
Posted
1 hour ago

jaclcfrost:

[listens to a fall out boy song] yes this is my favorite [listens to another fall out boy song] this is also my favorite [listens to every fall out boy song] yes, my favorite

(via yayforturtles)

Notes
26445
Posted
1 hour ago

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

(via fornicate-the-constabulary)

Notes
457925
Posted
1 hour ago

reblog if you are a NERD who loves DRAGONS

(Source: peachdoxie, via yayforturtles)

Notes
9858
Posted
1 hour ago

bagmilk:

when i die please punch everyone who says “i wish i got to know them better”

(Source: heteroh, via allteensrelate)

Notes
678138
Posted
1 hour ago

wentz-jpg:

'i write sins not tragedies' came out in 2005 nine years ago and i only just realized that they need to close the god damn door because she was cheating on her husband with the door open

(via fornicate-the-constabulary)

Notes
36820
Posted
1 hour ago

pantyslime:

shine bright like an overly detailed anime eyeball drawn by a seventh grader on their math homework

(via yayforturtles)

Notes
67471
Posted
1 hour ago

tamponspiritqueen:

i always just scrolled past this video but today i watched it and learned that i wasnt just scrolling past a video ~ i was scrolling past an experience 

(Source: ricequeen, via ven0moth)

Notes
155581
Posted
1 hour ago

imagineyouricon:

imagine ur icon wearing cutoff jeans skipping around a campfire playing the pan flute 

(via yayforturtles)

Notes
335
Posted
1 hour ago
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